Today marks a huge milestone for me. Dennis and I are the proud parents of an adult child. Eighteen years ago, we sat in a hospital room in awe of the gift God had granted us. Anxious about the days, and then years, that would follow, I realized the awesome responsibility of bringing up a godly young man.
I remember the day we came home from the hospital. I walked into my bedroom and suddenly realized that my child would depend on me for all of his needs to be met. A moment of fear grasped hold of me. I quickly questioned myself as to whether I would be able to handle this task before me. As if in the same moment, God calmed my heart and reassured me that He had prepared me for this very calling years before. He had given me many opportunities as far back as in my childhood to grow into this person I'd just become...a mother.
As a young girl, I had played in the sand and mud. I knew how to get dirty and how to use creativity and play through imagination. God knew I would have a son, so he made me aware of what my little boy's world was made made of. Oh, I played with dolls too, but I had a brother on each side of me to show me the fun I would have missed if I had not learned about the mud pies and tree frogs.
The the tree frogs wore off, but the mud never did. I eventually stuck closer to the baby dolls, for the most part. I was three when my youngest brother was born. I loved having a baby brother and would mimic my mom as played with my dolls. As I approached my teenage years, I started babysitting. I would watch my neighbors children and my younger cousins. I didn't realize it then, but God was already growing me to become a mother.
I am grateful that I came to know some young families as a teenager. I saw how they purposed to raise godly children. I saw how they struggled to make ends meet, and how they succeeded. I didn't take note of those things in my own family, so God allowed me to be a part of the lives of people who would mentor me, unaware that I was even watching.
Yes, again you see that God knew me in my mother's womb. He knows every breath I'll take and has ordained my days. He knew this day would come and is well aware of the faith it will take as we move on to another chapter in this book of life.
So here I am, eighteen years later. Blessed by the opportunity to love and nurture my child into adulthood. I have held on tightly. Some say too tightly, but they will not be held accountable for his rearing. I have sheltered him from a world that does not look out for our children and tells them there is no God. I have held him tightly from a world that longs to steal him away, to kill his spirit and destroy his childhood. I have taken every opportunity to teach him the Word and the ways of the Lord. I have made decisions for him when he was not mature enough to make a good decision.
Parenting is an awesome responsibility and an anointed calling. I have failed and I have succeeded in many ways as a parent. But most importantly...For this child, I have prayed. I have not walked this road alone. For every failure, God has overcome. For every success, I rejoice because of God's amazing grace.
Now, the time has come to 'let go and let God". Though I am blessed with a few extra months before high school graduation will take place, the process has begun. I suppose it is God's grace, once again, that allows me this transition time. Thank you for my children and their fall birthdays, Lord. You know my every need. You are kind and compassionate.
For Jamie, I pray that you will not depart from the teachings of God's ways that we have instilled in you. May you live a life of purpose, fulfilling God's perfect plan for your life and bring glory to God and God alone. May you know that though I let go of your hand, I'll never let go of your heart.
Father God,
How I thank you for Your love and mercy. You are faithful and I trust You. As Jamie steps out into adulthood, let him know the love he has experience from us was Your love all along. Let him understand that the rule book has always been yours and is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Let him look to Your Word when he lacks direction, praying "Your will be done". May he know, though we are not perfect, You are. Though we will be here as long as You allow, let him seek You first. Thank you for carrying us through this chapter of life. Your grace truly is enough. To You, I give all the glory, honor, and praise! AMEN.
Happy Birthday, Jamie. May you forever be blessed in God's grace. I love you!
